remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Randomize
