Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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