Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
where am i from again
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
