I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
