two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
