put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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