Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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