I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize
