we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
