Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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