Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
