she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
