but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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