So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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