Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Drunk is a universal language darling
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