from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
