i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
