I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
