Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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