Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Randomize
