So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Randomize
