I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
