There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
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