Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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