you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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