I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
