More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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