I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
