I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I am available for nakedness
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
