Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
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