dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Randomize
