O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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