I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
