yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
