its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Randomize
