I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
