Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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