you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
