Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
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