Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
