apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
