I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
