I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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