That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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