That's intense
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
