please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
