u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Randomize
