Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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