well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
We got so high we made milksteak
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Randomize
