I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize