i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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