Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
PS: I just woke up from my shower
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
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