Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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