College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
