He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I have feelings that need drinking.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
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