I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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