i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
