Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Boobs speak an international language.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
