I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
