'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
