Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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