currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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