Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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