the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
