we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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